The Mourning Report
forthcoming in Fall 2020 from Homebound Publications
About:
Two years after her mother’s death from breast cancer, Caitlin, then 20 years old, was admitted to a psychiatric facility after a suicide attempt. There, a therapist diagnosed her with major depression and anxiety, and she spent time as an inpatient.
Years later, still suffering from grief and depression, Caitlin decided to embark on a “grief journey,” interviewing the people involved in her mother’s dying process: a hospice nurse, a priest, an estate planner, a hairstylist, and a funeral director. If she figured out how they could function after being so close to her mother’s death, then maybe she could learn how to navigate her own life.
Each chapter of The Mourning Report is centered on each interview and the memories, anxieties, and reflections that it stimulated. It asks what it means to "move on."
forthcoming in Fall 2020 from Homebound Publications
About:
Two years after her mother’s death from breast cancer, Caitlin, then 20 years old, was admitted to a psychiatric facility after a suicide attempt. There, a therapist diagnosed her with major depression and anxiety, and she spent time as an inpatient.
Years later, still suffering from grief and depression, Caitlin decided to embark on a “grief journey,” interviewing the people involved in her mother’s dying process: a hospice nurse, a priest, an estate planner, a hairstylist, and a funeral director. If she figured out how they could function after being so close to her mother’s death, then maybe she could learn how to navigate her own life.
Each chapter of The Mourning Report is centered on each interview and the memories, anxieties, and reflections that it stimulated. It asks what it means to "move on."
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Excerpt:
"The Buddhist parable of the mustard seed tells the story of a young woman, Kisa Gotami, who begs the Buddha for help after the death of her child. The Buddha tells her that he can bring her child back to life if she can collect mustard seeds from a family who hasn’t experienced loss or suffering. Clutching her son’s dead body to her bosom, Kisa travels from house to house, but each family gives her the same answer: they’ve all been touched by death and suffering, so she can’t accept their mustard seeds. She returns empty-handed to the Buddha, who lectures her about the cycle of human life and the impermanence of all things. Comforted by the Buddha’s words, Kisa lays down the body of her child in a forest, and eventually, she becomes the Buddha’s disciple. I envy Kisa for being able to find peace, since I still feel like a child carrying her mother’s weight. Momma’s body is heavy, and I’m bound by it. While holding Momma’s body, I feel abandoned, and like the body of Kisa’s child, left in the woods. I’m screaming out for something I lost years ago and can’t collect. I have a recurring dream—in it, I dig and dig and dig. Momma doesn’t have enough air down there, underground, and if I could just open the casket, if only for a little while, she could breathe fresh air." |
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